words of affirmation

on assurance and validation

hi! here is something i have been thinking about a lot lately. it reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from a novel that shaped my formative years, the little prince. let me know if you love words of affirmation, too? as always, thanks for being here. i appreciate you :)

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now, just because you can’t immediately quantify something, doesn’t make it any less real.

i am sure you have heard of the tale as old as time. girl tells boy problems. boy analyzes the situation and gives solution. girl gets mad at boy. “why can’t you understand me?” girl exclaims.

when we have a problem, we usually know what to do but lack the courage to do it. we lack the courage because we doubt ourselves. assurance is the antidote. it sure doesn’t make your problems go away, but it is a gentle reminder that everything will be okay and that we are okay. hearing someone say that can do us absolute wonders. sometimes it is even all you need to push through.

i have been going through a period of instability. my journal entries are sparse. my to-do list remains lengthy. i have been sleeping way past my supposed bed time and waking up earlier than i should. as i am figuring out what i want the next few years to look like, i can’t help but worry that i am not taking a step in the right direction.

my mom is someone i feel close to. but we are not always generous with affection. when i confided in her, she told me she was proud of me. i always knew deep down that she was proud of me, i just never knew i needed to hear her to actually say those words. i felt my problems melt away from me and that i could breathe for the first time in weeks. that i didn’t have to worry. that things were going to be okay.

receiving assurance from her made me feel like i have been making the right decisions, and that i will continue to do so. i still have a long list of things to do; big adult questions to answer. but now i am facing them with the renewed conviction that i will be able to face them in due time.

assurance, in the form of words of affirmation, makes you feel more at peace. sometimes that is all you really need. solutions are overrated. genuine assurance from people you trust isn’t. the worst thing someone can do is make you doubt your sanity. that’s why we hate gaslighters. that is why we go to therapy. to hear someone us tell us despite all your fears and anxieties, everything will be okay because you can trust yourself to make things okay.

the effect of gentle nudges like assurance isn’t quantifiable. when we are stingy with our affection, often times it is because we think it isn’t important enough. we tend to ignore what we can’t see. but i have learned that a lot of things in life are invisible, or at least difficult to quantify upon first glance.

but life is made of many invisible push and pull. the present you are in is a product of an abundance of unquantifiable, unforeseeable moments. what is obvious is a result of what is not. we are oblivious to the yellow flags, only responding to the red.

life feels a lot lighter when you learn to see nuance. assurance is nuanced. assurance is wonderful.

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recent consumption (what made me feel !!)

• when ghosting is okay

• Dear John by Taylor Swift

• every single video on 2pm the k-pop group on youtube

• Paul Graham’s essay on good work

• the affirmation: “when i let go of the need to arrange my life; the universe gives me abundance”

• ssense’s ganni catalogue