thirty percent

also: how to take leaps of faith

this week i reflected on taking leaps of faith, specifically the prereq i need before jumping to one. thank you for reading and subscribing. it means the world to me! comments & likes always appreciated <3

i just need to be about thirty percent sure for me to do most things. to my perfect plannner of a boyfriend, it sounds almost blasphemous. how is thirty percent enough?

well, thirty percent is not enough. but thirty percent is good enough. if i reflect on the things that changed my life trajectory like going to a four year college, moving to new york, pivoting to news engineering. all these things i would not have even attempted if i had waited to be more sure.

being more sure doesn’t hurt. in fact, it would have made the journey towards all those things far less painful. like i wouldn’t have bounced around sublets or been unemployed for months. being sure is especially beneficial in areas you have to maximize like school.

but when it comes to something life-changing, something that contains lots of uncertainty where the odds are likely against you. not knowing everything is ok. you only need to know that you really want the thing and you are able to do essential thing right. that you are willing to try again no matter. then, take the leap.

the thing about failing from these leaps is most of the time you fail in private anyway and the failure doesn’t incur any significant loss. you can always iterate and get better. but when one attempt succeeds, it will change your life for good.

i started my substack with about thirty percent certainty. i am mostly winging it. i can only hope many years from now i miraculously land a big fat book deal enough to cover my expenses for the next decade or so. but i can’t hack my way into it. there is no way i can orchestrate such a big outcome like a book deal.

so instead of focusing on what i can not control, i will focus on the thirty percent. all i know is i love to write, and i can convey my feelings into words well enough. it is enough for me to write, and try to be better each week. also i am having so much fun. to me, that is enough reason to do this substack.