on simply living in the present
also: how i stopped setting timelines
having been a student for most of my life, life’s lack of clear timelines was initially dizzying. in school, you know when you will graduate and what you need to do to get there. but in this adult life, there is nothing.. no hard and fast rule. no more requirements, no more timelines. just freedom.
as any anxious young adult would, i tried to reduce the stress by establishing order. which for me was creating my own timeline. trying to find answers to questions revolving around work, family, friends, and love. hoping each answer would bring me closer to a set timeline, to stability. because then i can just work towards it, and life will no longer be as confusing! if only it were that simple.
if there is one thing i am exceptionally good at, it is knowing when to give up. when to say no to things. and well i quickly realized i was a horrible planner. so i stopped planning and embraced the whole uncertainty thing. i simply focused on being.
which is this realization that you don’t have to have all the answers. you don’t have to have it all figured out. and you really don’t have to know how your future will unfold. it is coming to terms with the uncertainty of it all and instead focusing your energy on the present. this includes embracing the belief that no matter what happens, you will find a way to be okay.
life isn’t a wordle puzzle you have to figure out by midnight. it also isn’t this waiting room where you are resigning your fate. life is this cluster of chaos, this black box of uncertainty. but you are the captain, you get to choose how you want to feel about your life.
stress disrupts being. stress happens when there is an inconsistency between who you are and who you want to be. it is easy to become stressed when you have an idea of how you need to live your life. comparison fuels this inconsistency. watching that youtube video telling you how to generate 10 income streams fuels that inconsistency.
the truth is everyone has a different reality. there is no use in looking at how other people are living their lives. what matters is how you live yours, and your ability to make the most out of every given situation. that can only happen if you are fully present in your life. only when you embrace being will you really see your reality as it is. the beautiful, the messy, and everything in between.
tell me, what was the most difficult thing you had to learn as an adult?