here's to.. a new beginning
why i am back on substack
hello! it has been.. over 16 months since my last substack post! i have definitely lived over 16 different lives since then. let me attempt to fill you in.
a recap of what has happened since january 2024:
i quit my job
left nyc
moved back home to jakarta for a bit
felt extremely lost and existential
moved to sf but also not really
most recently:
i turned 28!
officially moved to sf bay area
starting my own tech company
finally overcame my lifelong fear of posting videos, and make videos on youtube now
amid all the life transitions, side quests, and existential challenges, it has been a little difficult to write on substack. i still write a lot— pretty much all my youtube videos are derivatives of my journal entries. i love writing so much i don’t think i can ever stop.
plus, trying to start a tech company also has been so brutal it has occasionally sent my mental health to the depths of hell. and because i am a severe emotional archivist, intense emotions give me plenty to write about. but also this period of intense uncertainty and fervid change has given me so much material, it is the plot that keeps on giving. i feel like i can keep writing about this period of my life forever and ever and ever.
yet i haven’t been able to sit down and properly write, like the kind of writing that feels okay for people to see, even if just a paragraph long. so i have abandoned my substack for a little over a year.
you know when you break a habit it is so hard to start again even if you have done it before. well, that was how i felt. i felt like if i started writing on substack people would hate what i write and then there is no point unless there is a sizable audience or i should stay focused on because i am already juggling a million things.
me in london last year as part of my sidequest because why not
okay but after wrestling with all of that and much pondering, i decided to come back to substack!
let me explain why
i am building a company in the creative space/niche. as someone who loves being creative (something i can also talk about for hours on end), it only made sense that i am building creative tools. but to build tools for creatives i need to be creative, like hyper creative on all fronts. if not, i wouldn’t be the right person to build in this space. so writing a newsletter is a piece of that puzzle to hopefully supercharge that creativity.
i do feel like i need to find a hobby that isn’t work related (though this is difficult because now work encompasses so much of my life), or at least a creative hobby that is atelic (ugh i hate how silicon valley jargon has infested bits of my brain). this is a different conversation for my future self though.
okay back to the purpose of my substack..
this newsletter isn’t going to be a technical or business newsletter. if you want to talk technical or business, you should find me on twitter lol where i am my worst techbro personality. this substack is instead going to be another way for me to hopefully tickle my creativity a little — it will be a reflective (just like youtube) and a little more fun!
i don’t think i will be putting out full essays every week as much as i would love to. i just don’t have the bandwidth for that at the moment. but on this substack you can expect more consistent and thoughtful posts, although shorter in length.
youtube will still be my most extensive content output, at least for now. but if you love shorter written pieces, you will be in for a treat :)